Tough experiences and situations do some transformations, and the outcome is the birth of one of two products.
A Graced or A Bitter Survivor
Whatever the result, the individual might look great on the outside, with no sign of what he has gone through, or the battles he has fought. However, when an event triggers the nostalgia (whether positive or negative), "You will be informed"! The reaction(s) you get, will be just a clue of how well he survived a past experience.
As a graced survivor, his scars are a reminder of his victory. No matter how gruesome his experience might have been, his goal is to ensure no one else feels those pains. Like a mother hen, he wants to protect, to guide and to guard. With a promise to himself that no one else should be a victim of the same circumstances he faced. Afterall, he has fought the fight, no one else should have to fight. And he seeks to ensure that by his own stripes, others should be healed!
But a bitter survivor dreads his scars. They are a memorial of his pains. Also worse is his desire to not suffer the pains alone. The next person needs to feel them too, directly or indirectly, even though they might be oblivious of his pains. He rejoices when he hears a worse story than his, or when he sees others go through pains. In reality, he does not mind inflicting pains on others too. Muttering words like, "You must know how it feels!" His actions are often characterised by anger, irritation, resentment, fear, disappointment and lack of control.
Nevertheless, before you judge the bitter survivor, understand his anguish. He only wants to express his pains. He only wants to let it go, but does not understand how to. If only he could see that there is a love, a lift and a light over his shadows. If only he could be taught how to love, in order to bring an end to a cycle of bitterness which could be passed on.
To play your part, be concious of your reactions, be a bearer of grace, and never be one to inflict a pain!
Happy 2024!
