At all at all na'im bad!

                                                                                                                                 

 So, I promised myself that I was going to publish a writing at least once a year!

It seemed like a task easy to achieve, but here I am on the 28th of December at 8:30pm, jolting at the thought that it has been 362 days since my last published post. 

                                                      

Well, I had scribbled a few thoughts and ideas in my journal in the course of the year, but nothing concrete was put together in a write up. To fulfil the promise and to assure myself that I can remain a lady of my words, I will have to publish this. 

Not a write up, but at least a publication. Good job Adebisi!

2022 came with its lessons, dramas, revelations and many more. In the end, we are thankful!

Happy 2023!

Big Little

The year 2021 was indeed an extension of the year 2020, each day with its own peculiarities. Leaving us clinging onto hope, faith and the promise of a future! Thankfully, an inspiration came, to write, even when I least expected. 

She definitely has a point! Who ever invented calling a younger one "Little" definitely did not do "Us" any justice. Shouldn't it be time bound? The moment you reach a certain age, you should no longer be called: little or kid brother/sister!

My niece insisted her younger brother should not be called "Little brother". As far as she was concerned, anyone above the age of 2 is no longer little. Even though she does not mind him being called her "Big brother", I doubt she would have that same view in a few years to come 😆. Why did I not revolt a long time ago? I said to myself after watching her brilliant argument. I have been referred to as "Kid sister" for decades now and for as long as I can remember. It felt like the norm until my niece's argument! 

As the years go by, big sisters and big brothers remain "Big". Well, by reason of their birth position. But for the same reason, little sisters or brothers remain "Little", in that context. Meaning, no matter how old my grandmother is, she would always be seen as a little sister in the eyes of her older siblings. Worse still, she could be referred to as "Kid" sister. 

                                    

Perhaps, they would never see us as big. Afterall, they knew when we were little or even saw us as babies. That must have stuck. And I must say, the position comes with a sense of protection. Reminds me of the story told of a friend's mother, whose "Big" brother had to watch her cross a road before turning back to go on his way. He wanted to be sure she was safe, even though she was already a grandmother! 

Well, we appreciate the care! It feels really good most times; until we hear ourselves being called "Kid" sister or brother.  Could we suggest  the adjective - "Younger" instead? That should give all parties some satisfaction.

I might be "Shaking the table" with this article, but truth is, I have been under that table for as long as I can remember, and it looks like it will remain like that, no matter how vigorously I shake the table. Maybe this is only a message of hope. A hope for a change! One person at a time!

Thankful to be ending the year 2021 with an article. 

Happy New Year 2022!

The 2020

 

 2020! The year the world was brought to a still; the leap year some lives took a leap

No prophecy would have prepared us

No diviner would have best explained it

Nothing would have warned us enough

It was simply unique and uniquely bizarre

Indeed, the herald of a new decade

This time it came with many peals

For some, peals of laughter, for others, the opposite

 

Like a thief in the night

Appeared the unannounced war

The world best foot soldiers could not counterattack

It was not a battle for the strong

Even the skilled had to double check

Swords, arms and strengths failed

This fight was with an unforeseen army

At once the world braced up

We would either face it or be faced out

The brave warriors arose

Definitely gender had no role to play

Women and men who understood they were born for such a time as this

Our true heroes, some of whom fell in combat

The health and essential workers we would never forget

 

Threatening like Goliath whilst dropping men dead

We soon realized it was not an empty threat

The monster came pretty much prepared

Confounding even the wisest nations

And confirming the sovereignty and magnitude of a great God

Of course it will fall, exactly like Goliath

Defeated and its carcass given to the birds of the air

Whilst we hang on to faith and hope becomes a treasure

We will overcome, one day at a time

Although the future might seem uncertain

And stability might be beaming only from afar

We must keep holding up

Making the best of every blow dealt us

And be assured that........last last, we will be alright

Waiting for God's choice home

With millions of love video clips on Instagram; fascinating pictures on Snapchat; romantic hashtags on Twitter; affectionate stories and photos on Facebook; movies on perfect and standard marriages everywhere, the world paints us a fantasy. A mirage we blindly buy, deeply absorb and wishfully live. All of these make waiting dreadful, and portray it as a period solely for the unlucky. Although, these models are a mere charade, it takes only a wise person to remain strong and unflinching.

What then is left of a waiting woman? All around her is the ‘ideal’ life and she feels un-fit. Especially in an environment where there is a marriage ceremony almost every weekend. Some of which she must attend! Smile her way through aunties and uncles, saying ‘Amen!’ to the different prayers that remind her of how much she is expected to grab the next available suitor. She is pushed to return to her closet and cry: “Lord, carest thou not that I am single?” It sometimes feels like an uneasy journey, exclusively meant for the forgotten.

Depending on one’s understanding, waiting is actually a blessing! A time to cherish and enjoy, while it lasts. Of a truth, just like the vision described in Habakkuk 2v3, it will surely come, even though it tarries; whilst not forgetting God’s promise in Isaiah 34v16, that none shall lack a mate. Therefore, the waiting period is that meant for preparation, self-awareness and personal development. A time to discover passion, to learn, to build, to understand, to love and to appreciate oneself. A time to be conscious that "Her race is different", and must be run differently.  A time one cannot return to once it is over.

The revelation of this truth about waiting, helps a woman build the inner strength needed to withstand pressure and confusion. She is equipped with a knowledge which helps her discern and shove distractions, as well as stand firm in the face of sexual, peer and even social media influences.

Girded with the right facts, from the word of God and spirit inspired teachings through books and podcasts, a woman is assured that the waiting time is not a desperate period, which makes every fruit look like the right one. Thus, she is patient, and would never settle for anything below God’s standard.

A choice-home is beautiful, but it is not the sole purpose of a woman’s existence. The knowledge of God’s purpose for one’s life is very important. While a woman awaits her life partner, she must continue on an intimate journey with her maker, and adorn herself with both spiritual, emotional and psychological gifts which her world needs. With the wealth of strength, wisdom, prowess, which she gathers in this period, she begins exibiting being a blessing, continues as a blessing after she says I DO!, and she remains a blessing, like the Proverbs 31 woman.

Having said all, a godly foundation is the only antidote to standing the test of time while waiting. It is the only guarantee to coming out strong at the end. Especially in our today’s world, where genuineness is far from reachable. This foundation is not one to begin building when the reality of waiting hits. It takes a process of dwelling constantly in the secret place, developed over a period of time. Being in a relationship first with the King. The result thereof is a kingdom princess, a woman who understands God’s timing. She is strong enough to help others and is convinced that a wait is an advantage.

Article first published in a women's magazine with the title: IN TIMES LIKE THIS....WAITING FOR GOD’S CHOICE HOME

‘A NEW NIGERIA’ - Abhorring wrong & visiting the foundations

The cankerworms gnawing upon us are stronger in number, bigger in shape and greater in size, than the principal icon with seemingly laid-back strategic, progressive and calculative decisions.

Although, the focus has majorly been on the number one person, it would be a great slip-up not to ensure ‘a comprehensive sweep of the entire classroom’.

A pertinent point to admit is that these forces are everywhere, even at the grassroots. And they ravenously guzzle our resources in the best ways they can. Some even claiming to have the right backings for a number of their ballgames. We, ‘the common man’, are already caught in a web, and to avoid getting more entangled, we must be practical, tactical and apperceive in our actions.

When there are only a few good heads in government, the effect is that, they keep “trying to make common sense”, but they never do! It is time to flood the political space with people of sincere and genuine interests, especially at heart and not by mouth. This is not just in electing the young, as some young ones might walk in the paths of their ‘outgoing’ fathers. The onus is on us to ensure a complete blockage of all the major loop holes wherein these pirates thrive and get away with their loots.
Remove many immunities and "make the price for doing wrong higher than the cost of doing things right". At the moment, it is virtually the exact opposite in Nigeria.

Moreover, we must begin to compare the present with the future - the big picture we hope to achieve. If it does not seem to align, then, we must immediately re-strategize. Not wait another four precious years! Sometimes, we make the past a standard for the present. We then begin to rejoice if we have a little breathe of fresh air. When in actual fact, we should not even be choking. This mind set only makes us complacent and literally, retrogressive. We would continue to get it wrong if the yardstick is comparing the present ‘saint’ with the previous ‘crooks’, even though the present saint does not have a motor to move us forward. The focus should be on who can march us ahead and not make us stagnant, pull us back or continue to play the blame game.

Our ability to understand that we cannot keep on gambling with our future, especially with those who would not actively suffer the consequences with us, is also very crucial. A quick reference to the words of the English economist, Tim Harford, which says, “Any project is most likely to be successful if the people who benefit from its success are the same people who make it possible”. Therefore, do not count on our so-called leaders to bother about projects like:
Education - their children rarely attend local schools
Health Care - they can always go abroad
Good Roads – there are private jets and sophisticated vehicles available for them or
Electricity - they do not understand what power failure means anymore.

Leaders, young and old, who would unflinchingly gulp huge sums of money monthly, as allowances, from the reportedly insufficient funds; who would rather watch us wallow in debts, than make sacrifices for the citizens they swore to serve; who wish we do not understand how much they are preying on us, but that we continue to see them as demigods. Leaders whose eyes and ears neither see our pains, nor hear our cries. How can they understand the wails of an average man?

An average tax payer, he spends in traffic, a half of his productive hours, but is never paid for it. He writhes in distress, knowing how much of his monthly salary goes into taxes, which should supposedly make his life better. Rather, he is rewarded with poor medical care, power outage and a cause to worry about the future. He generates his own electricity, water, security and pays his medical bills. That man deserves some accolades. He is a unique nation.
The above scenarios of the leader and the average tax payer, are not in sync. Two different people running different races. They do not have the same worries and their interests are completely parallel. The gap will never be bridged, not under the current circumstances, unless consciously cambered and these two characters begin to put feet in similar shoes.

Whilst we might be interested in trading an era of reactivity for that of proactivity, suffice to say, it would take more than mere words or airing thoughts on the internet. Yes, it would take having a PVC (permanent voter’s card) and voting, but much more. Of what impact are the votes when the foundations upon which we stand are shallow? There is no assurance that even with a young man, there would be a huge success. He might only end up giving us tales of how much he is handicapped or limited. As seen in the case of the Minister of Power, Works and Housing. It indeed must feel like ‘carrying the weight of the world upon his shoulders’.

In conclusion, ‘A New Nigeria’ requires examining the structure on which we are currently governed. Whether with an old or young, man or woman. We need leaders who would put in place a structure that strangles wrong deeds, flushes filth and hates injustice. A new Nigeria requires a thorough review of the constitution and other standards or general principles on which we run, thereafter blotting out all of the inhibiting factors. Having said all, let us vote and stand only for people who are ready to be held accountable and can take on the tasks of restructuring, when they get into government. People who would be willing to give up power when the going gets tougher and they seem not tough enough to get going. 

God Bless Nigeria!

Language and Identity

Nigerian parents proudly say these days and with all confidence too: Oh! My child only speaks the English Language.  Interesting!

It is for sure a beautiful thing to be able to stand out from the crowd and present yourself, your speech or even your ideas gracefully and fluently in a language acceptable by many. There is indeed great pride in discussing with friends from different parts of the world and flow excellently well, understanding every conversation and more importantly, being understood. You are no doubt respected and in fact, there is a personal feeling of poise, brilliance and self-confidence. Certainly, people will relate better with you than with those who struggle or stutter at their words in English Language. You definitely have an edge.

However, that's about where it all ends. Not until you leave the shores of your own country before you realize that no matter how much you try, you are who you are. No matter how fluent your English is, you are not English.  No matter how strong your American accent is, Americans know themselves. 

You would be often asked questions like: 'Where are you from?' for obvious reasons of course, and the only thing that would remind you of your root would be your name, well, if you have a local name. 😊  Only then, would you wonder and ask yourself, “If I don't belong fully abroad, I hope I fit and can even ‘balance well’ at home?”

There is a need, an urgent one too, to be able to identify with our roots, and also be able to prove that identity!

A number of us are familiar with the reports on languages. But just to reiterate, "The brain is not biologically set to learn only one language" quoting expert Laura-Ann Petitto, ‘a Cognitive Neuroscientist, popularly known for her discoveries about the biological foundations of language’.  Another research, according to an article in ‘Daily Mail Online’ says that “People who can switch between two languages seamlessly have a higher level of mental flexibility than monolinguals”.

Perhaps, we have been under utilizing the potentials and abilities of our children. A statement like 'Yoruba will spoil my child's English' is a proven myth. There are many people who communicate well in their local language and still speak the English language fluently. As strong as the French accent is, there are French with great American accents and who would have you believe that they are Americans until they begin to speak perfect French. How did they achieve that? Well, you can never know how much ability you've got until you try to discover.  Experts say that the best way is to speak local languages to our wards at home and have them learn the other languages at school. In fact, have them learn a third or fourth language. Start from when they are young.

Also worth mentioning, is the sweetness in switching between languages at the perfect place and at the right time too. Turning to that comfort zone even in the tightest corner; when it only makes sense to talk to mum about that pressing family issue; dad about the next giant step you are about to take and discuss that friend that grates on your nerves with your sister, IN YOUR LOCAL LANGUAGE. Whilst still feeling safe that you have neither divulged confidential issues nor 'washed your dirty linens in public'

Again, our true identity lies in our root, our root is defined by our culture, and our culture is reflected in that local language. We cannot afford to have a generation without an identity. Though it might seem to be fading out, we still have a chance to revive our culture and revival will start by ensuring we pass on our local language and the importance of it, to generations after us.

We hope to build a generation of leaders who have names like Omotola, Chidinma and Chawai and can fluently speak Yoruba, Igbo and Hausa respectively.

God Bless Nigeria!

References and for further reading on how many languages a child can learn:

Ute Limacher-Riebold, Expat Since Birth, https://expatsincebirth.com/2013/08/19/how-many-languages-can-a-child-learn/

Daily Mail Online, Science & Tech, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2600623/Language-biological-instinct-Babies-dont-learn-develop-speech-theyre-BORN-ability.html

I AM NIGERIA, and here is another picture of me

Every name has a meaning, perhaps, a significance. However, some actually carry more weight than others.  So, what comes to mind when you hear names like Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama, Michael Jackson, Mohammed Ali, Mikel Obi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, (am I becoming a football fan?) or Adebisi Adeyemi? 😊 And places like Dubai, London, Paris, New York or even Seychelles?

Asides what you think of these names, have you imagined what other people from different parts of the world think of them too? Most times, interestingly, you have similar views as many others because, there seem to be a general or popular knowledge. The beautiful pictures of these people and places are often painted, over and over, that sometimes, you might even choose to ignore their ugly sides.

Okay then, tell me what comes to mind when you hear the name Nigeria? If you ask me, at the mention of the name 'Nigeria', I see: ‘Giant of Africa, a beautiful country, a land of brain and beauty, a land of plenty, flowing with milk and honey, and, the list is endless’. I am right, in fact, very correct. But, I am also interested in knowing what the world thinks of this great country, Nigeria. Do they share the same thoughts and knowledge? Please, don’t be quick to answer.

Whenever I proudly introduce myself to friends from other countries, I look out for the expressions on their faces immediately I say ‘I am Nigerian’. While some of them try to hide their surprises, others actually confront me with words like: ‘How are you guys handling 'Boko Haram' in your country? Or ‘I heard there was an attack last night in the northern part of Nigeria’. More surprisingly, some of my Nigerian friends have been asked questions like ‘Are your parents politicians?’ (Of course, you know that is just a nice way to say; ‘Are you being funded by stolen money?’). How can you blame them? That is about the only news the world hears of us. Corruption and Insecurity. And no matter how good we see ourselves, the other side of the story is known only to us or a negligible number of others. Oh! I mustn't forget to add that some friends absolutely love Nigerian music too (yeah, that's a credit)!

I am currently doing a write up about Nigeria, and I would like to include a few facts, especially on ‘What the world does not know about Nigeria’. While we are not trying to 'sweep our dirt under the carpet', we must acknowledge that the other side of our picture looks really beautiful. I know there is more to us than the abundance of natural wealth, beauty and brain. Please tell me, I need ideas. Maybe I should start by saying: 'We have the most colorful and beautiful traditional weddings!' and ehmm... 'We love cars!!' (that's definitely debatable but, I have my facts).

Your ideas and comments will be very much appreciated and I just cannot wait to discover much more about my country than even I know. It is time to make the world see beyond the propaganda of the media. There is indeed more to us than the world knows. Please, let's share them here.
(I trust we would share valid points, but, kindly ensure they are proven facts too.) Thank you.

God Bless Nigeria! 

The Nigerian Coat of Arms -
A symbol of our National Identity
(Every feature gives a beautiful description of Nigeria)

Subsidy Removal in Nigeria - The beginning of the 'change'?

Yes!!! I exclaimed as I threw a punch in the air. The news of subsidy removal in Nigeria suddenly lightened my mood. Alas! A major step to the ‘change’ we have been waiting for and the best news about Nigeria in recent days.

Like a poke in the ribs to keep moving; the decision seems to give a glimpse of hope. The apparently dark, endless and frustrating tunnel, suddenly has a flash of light to encourage anyone about to throw in the towel. (A number of us are only trying to keep the hope alive anyway) Perhaps, we will get there some day.

Although, it is said that ‘a stitch in time saves nine’, we no doubt have more than nine stitches to make right now but it is not too late.
It reminds me of a write up I did in 2012 (http://adebisiadeyemi.blogspot.fr/2016/05/my-nigeria-beyond-subsidy.html) during the ‘occupy Nigeria’ rally (which never saw the light of day by the way – until now). We should have taken this step a long time ago but after 4 bleak years, it looks like we have all woken up.

I am certain we would not have as many people opposing the brilliant decision this time – it is called ‘learning the hard way’.

Nigerians are smart, very smart but we really need to be forward thinking. Time to fight for the future and not just the present. And definitely, Nigeria would come out as gold after being tried in this fire!

I love Nigeria! I believe in Nigeria! God bless Nigeria!

Link to the old write up on subsidy: http://adebisiadeyemi.blogspot.fr/2016/05/my-nigeria-beyond-subsidy.html

My NIGERIA- Beyond Subsidy

Nigeria- a beautifully endowed nation; a nation blessed with great people, resources, brain and beauty; God’s own country. It’s the fifth day of the strike saga this January, 2012 and believe me - the government is not willing to cave in just like that and Nigerians more than ever before are still talking tough. Should we continue wasting precious time and productive lives? Nigeria, no doubt is gifted but I hope not with greedy and selfish individuals.

The whole scenario to me is like a prince who has a manager over his father’s estate. He is given allowances (stipends) regularly, and becomes complacent (as long as he is at least getting something from the estate).One day (all of a sudden), the manager of his father’s estate decides to take away the little stipend he receives and guess what? The prince is ready to lay down his life and fight to sustain the mite he enjoys. The question is: Why can he not fight for the entire estate, that even his children and generations to come will enjoy from? Why can he not fight so that poverty will be wiped off completely from his race? Why can he not fight to ensure accountability of his father's estate?

We are like the prince fighting for a copper coin, when the ‘greater treasures’ we own are being taken away right before our very eyes. We even risk our lives to vote them in during elections (as long as we still enjoy N65/litre of PMS).
What is N65/litre of fuel compared to the corruption sweeping us away? PMS can be restored to N65/litre, but does that guaranty the jobs our graduates don’t have? Does that secure the lives and property of Nigerians? Does that even stop the greedy politicians from sending our monies abroad and lavishing money like they have a print house in their rooms?
How long Nigerians? Let’s take the bull by the horn, not by fighting for a meager subsidy which whether we agree or not has not and cannot better our lives, we will only remain and maintain the status-quo (an endowed but struggling nation).

A CNN reporter once described us as 'a country whose economic and financial situation is a complete write-off'. I felt so ashamed after listening to him (because I knew he was mistaken and that statement was an exaggeration). It’s time for a revolution far beyond subsidy and surely far beyond N65 per litre of PMS.

What should we be fighting for? Could we use our collective energies and resilient spirits to critically analyse the budget yearly especially the 2012 budget proposal? Would we protest en masse to check every allocation at the Federal, State and Local Government levels and how they are spent? If we must fight for the masses, let us fight for a just cause.

There are many projects which funds have been allocated twice or even three times and nothing was done. Together with the likes of Pat Utomi, Tunde Bakare, Femi Falana and others (leading this campaign), we can serve as 'watch dogs,' send newsletters, and challenge the greedy ones via the media. That’s what I call true patriotism. Civil Societies should call us for a fight against corruption and not a fight against subsidy removal which is not even a material portion of our heritage. Over 70% of the entire budget is spent on re-current expenditure, yet we only see subsidy removal as the problem. We have about 500 lawmakers, who each get mind blowing allowances from our collective golden pot and continue to widen the gap between the rich and poor, yet we see N65 per litre as the problem.

Should we also talk of bad roads in Nigeria? But as long as they open our palms and place N76/litres of PMS (difference between N65 and N141 paid by the government) in them, we are contented. Electricity has never improved since I was born, it has rather gone worse, and we only complain idly on our sofas and couches in our generator-powered rooms as long as we enjoy the so called subsidy.

Indeed, we have sold our birth rights. And fortunately for us, unlike Esau, we can get it back. But first, we must amend the constitution that seems to immune our law makers and has given metal wings to our politicians. Let us make our own laws and remove every unwanted loop hole in the constitution where most people have taken cover.

Enough is Enough, Yes. But it is wise to fight the right battle.

Written in January, 2012 during the "Occupy Nigeria" campaign

Olajumoke Orisaguno... there is more to it than chance!

The story of this beauty queen and now big time model, Olajumoke Orisaguno is awe-inspiring. But what inspired me is definitely different from the many views and comments I have read about her. I analysed this with a friend who encouraged me to share my thoughts.

A transformation that pounced on 'Jumoke without notice even to her. From street hawking to modelling and stardom. Wow! Hers is a story that has undoubtedly increased the faith of many who now pray for 'Jumoke’s type of miracle and frankly speaking, why not? She is now the "talk of the town" and has also graced a few foreign tabloids. You want a perfect definition of a sudden transition from "grass to grace"? Olajumoke Orisaguno fits best.

So, how can we possibly describe this status shift? Chance right? She was in the right place at the right time. That’s what many think.

I don’t disagree with these thoughts. But a second look at the picture where she had her merchandise placed on her head (shared here) tells me there’s more to it than just chance.

Olajumoke was well-packaged. Come on, most of us know how some of the bread ‘agege’ hawkers look. Many times, we even deliberately and patiently wait for the next person who hopefully would look neater before making our purchase. But the 27 year old Jumoke was not shabbily dressed or dirty. Did anyone notice her hair-do? Her hair-do, dress, footwear, though in-expensive looked clean and put together. She did look attractive, healthy, fashionable, interesting and happy.

I would say she was indeed ready and qualified for her ‘chance’, her 'lucky break'. For her level, she was on point.

She is sure a model and the studio photos got me musing. ‘Maybe I should have some photo sessions myself (just for the fun of it). They would be awesome! Someone definitely agrees with me on that’. Now back to 'Jumoke,  I love the transformation! Oh! she looked so graceful in those pictures. (some shared here)

My heartfelt congratulations to Olajumoke Orisaguno. Many thanks also to the heroine, TY Bello, who unveiled the charm in the young woman, whose identity might have remained unknown and story untold.